Things Don't Have to be Perfect

So, I've realized over the last few years that things don't always work out the way you plan...and things will never be perfect...AND IT'S OKAY.  I'm talking about our expectations of ourselves, ladies.

Let's rewind a few years.  It's before we had kids and Tyson and I went to Utah for his cousin, Eric's wedding.  We lived in Florida at the time and had not really planned too much in advance but decided to go at the last minute.  So we're in Utah and we're driving the two hour drive with Ty's parents to get to the wedding which was at the Manti temple.  So we're about fifteen minutes into the drive when I noticed my temple recommend was expired.  I didn't think it was a big deal and we all just figured once we got there, a nice temple worker would call my Bishop and get the okay to let me in.  We even called our Bishop in Florida to give him a heads up so he could expect the call.

So we get to the temple and we're walking in and I hand my recommend to a temple worker.  He wouldn't let me in which I totally thought was a joke at first.  Long story short, I couldn't get in because when a recommend is expired, it's as if you don't have one.  Now, had I just forgotten it (if I had a current recommend), then they would call my Bishop and get the approval. 

Heartbroken does not even sum up how crappy I was feeling as I went back out to the car while everyone else went into the temple for the ceremony.  I was sooooo distraught and upset that I just bawled the whole time in the car.  We flew like 3,000 miles and here I am stuck in the car, unable to participate & witness a super spiritual event.  I'm sure I prayed and asked for comfort.  Tyson's sister, Chelsea must have gotten there at some point so after I let it all out in the car, I calmed down & walked around outside and ended up finding Chelsea.  And then Tyson was out before I knew it.  (It was a super short sealing...felt like 15 mins.)

Later that day (I think it was that same day?) as we were driving through the gorgeous mountains on the way to Tyson's cousins, Chuck & Amy's cabin, I had a serious "ah ha!" moment.  It was like the brightest lightbulb went off in my head and it was one of those heavenly moments where I received the strongest impression that told me, "Things will not always work out as planned...AND IT'S OKAY."  Emphasis on the "it's okay" part.  Even as I type it and think about it, the words on the page don't do that moment justice.  It was like a learning moment for the rest of my life.  It was just the sweetest reassurance that some things that we focus on just aren't that important when it comes down to it.

How often do we expect perfection?  In other people, in our situations...and most of all, with ourselves?  Not to say we should let everything go and just throw our hands in the air, but...well, sometimes that is actually what we need to do.

As I write this, I reflect on the crazy day I had yesterday.  Just to give you an idea of my day... I've been sick all week, laying on the couch to rest as much as possible between the demands of motherhood, my house is a disaster, my kids drove me nuts (OK, a certain two year old whose name starts with B and rhymes with "Make me..." decided to claw the crap out of her little friend's face that we were babysitting...looked like a cat attacked the poor boy and just continued to torment me all day with her antics), I made a bunch of phone calls to get payment arrangements set up for Skylar's healthcare bills which I've totally been putting off because it's so overwhelming and by the time I was done doing that, I was so emotionally and mentally drained.  By the middle of the day, I was at my wits end, about to check myself into the loony bin and I still had to survive the rest of the day!  ...Happy to say that I did.  Phew!

My point is...we can only do what we can do when we can do it.  (That is a Tyson quote.)  My disaster of a house will only be a disaster temporarily but until I feel better and can muster the energy to clean it...a big fat, OH WELL!  It's OK that this has not been the best week and that my house is a disaster and that I won't get a "Housewife of the Year" award for this week.  I'm doing the best I can.  And that's all I can do.  Weeks like this make me appreciate normal weeks.

So, learn from me...quit expecting everything to always be perfect.  Give yourself a break.  I've decided that it's impossible to keep your house perfectly clean all the time with little kids anyway.  I think it's important to recognize what we do accomplish each day.  Some days, the simple, essential things are all I'm able to do.  Some days, if I feed the kids, change their diapers, & keep them alive, I have to call it a successful day.

P.S.  Don't forget the 11th Commandment:  DO NOT compare yourself to others.  Everyone's circumstances and experiences are different.

   














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