How Faith Helps a Mother

I was asked to be a guest speaker at the Mia Maids Young Women (girls ages 14-16) activity tonight at church.  They wanted me to speak about how faith helps a mother.  Here is what I said:

I’m grateful for the opportunity to be here tonight and I’m excited to share some of my experiences with you regarding faith, and specifically, how faith helps a Mother. I hope that what I share with you tonight will help you in some way and that you may feel the spirit and feel the love that the Lord has for you.

There are going to be times in your life when you will be required to have faith. I was thinking about how a lot of big decisions in life require a certain amount of faith because you’re faced with a choice and you hope to make the right decisions & you don’t know in advance what the outcome will be. Such as whether or not to go away to college, who to marry, when to start a family, and how many kids to have, among other things. One of the biggest milestones in life is becoming a Mother because everything changes and you’re no longer just responsible for yourself. Your perspective on life changes. Faith is definitely a requirement in Motherhood.

Tyson and I were married for almost five years before we had Blakeley. We both worked for Verizon Wireless and were used to our lifestyle and our double income. We pretty much bought whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and I drove a fun two seater sports car. When I found out that I was pregnant with Blakeley, my mindset shifted and my priorities changed. No longer was I as concerned about myself and the materialistic aspects of life as I was this child that I was going to be entrusted with and the future of my family. Instead of caring about what car I drove, I cared more about nurturing my children and becoming the best mother possible. So bye bye went the sports car and the funny thing is, I didn’t even care. It was no longer important to me.

I realized that I wanted to trade in my career so that I could stay home and raise my children. I had a good career but I knew that life as a Mommy was far more important. It was actually more of a yearning, just a feeling I had that I knew it was what I was supposed to do. In my mind, however, I didn’t know how it could possibly happen. Tyson and I were so used to our lifestyle and our double income. Logically, I just didn’t know how it would be possible financially.

I prayed continuously during those nine months that the Lord would provide a way for me to stay home once Blakeley was born. At times, I became frustrated because I didn’t feel like I was getting an answer and I still felt like I was SUPPOSED to stay home.

At the time, we lived in Florida and one day, I think it was at Stake conference, our stake president was speaking about tithing and I had an ah-ha moment. He said, “Just take the first step in faith…” Although he was talking about tithing, I had a moment of complete clarity where I felt my mind and heart being enlightened and I felt the spirit so strong and those words spoke to me regarding my desire to be a stay at home Mom. “Just take the first step in faith…” In other words, I needed to just have faith and make the decision to quit my job and know that it would all be OK. This was very scary to me since it was the unknown and I had no idea how it would all work out.

So fast forward a little bit…Blakeley was born and I was on maternity leave from work and even on the way home from the hospital, I was crying to my sister on the phone because I wanted to stay home so bad but still, I just didn’t see how it was going to work out. Tyson & I had talked about it at different times and we felt like it was the right thing to do but we still didn’t really have a game plan as far as how I should go about quitting my job or when I should quit.

One day, a few weeks into my maternity leave, I just told Tyson, “OK, I’m going to call my manager now and tell her I’m not coming back to work.” It was as simple as that. I called her and told her that I’d thought a lot about it and that I wasn’t going to return to work. She was really nice about it & totally understood. Well I was planning on going home to California to visit in a couple weeks and I still needed to go back to my job and clean out my desk and get my stuff. A few days before I was supposed to leave on my trip, I called my old boss and left her a vm that I was going to go clean out my desk.

What happened next is the most amazing thing.

Long story short…It turns out the company had to lay off some employees and I was actually laid off so I got a severance package.  I immediately knew that my prayers were being answered. That meant that I got a lot of unexpected money and healthcare benefits and it set us up nicely to start our new chapter in life with our new baby. This was such a huge blessing.

Words cannot express the immense joy I felt when I found this out. I was in such awe at this miracle and I completely attributed it to faith, prayer, and Heavenly Father’s goodness. I could not have planned this better myself and it strengthened my testimony so much that Heavenly Father does hear our prayers, and more importantly, that He does answer them. And the timing of it all was extraordinary. I had just enough vacation time left to cover the exact amount of days I needed so that I didn’t have to return to work before the lay offs were to take effect. Some people might call this a coincidence but there is just no way—coincidences do not exist. Heavenly Father’s love for us and His desire to make us happy are what exist. This was a righteous desire that I had and Heavenly Father blessed me with it and made it happen. He knows the desires of our hearts and He wants to make us happy. It was such a testimony building experience to me regarding faith because we literally had to take a leap of faith, with no knowledge of what the outcome would be.

There is a quote by Martin Luther King that says, “Just take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase…just take the first step.”

I think this experience was so profound to me because it opened my eyes to the fact that Heavenly Father can do all things- even things that seem impossible to us. I had absolutely no idea HOW it was going to work out for me to stay home. I just knew that I wanted to and I felt like I was supposed to.

Situations like these enlighten my mind and enable me to see the power of God.

D&C 76:12 By the power of the aSpirit our beyes were opened and our understandings were enlightened, so as to see and understand the things of God—

We as humans place limits on things…we say, “that can’t happen because of this obstacle or this road block stands in the way. But Heavenly Father is amazing and is more powerful than we can comprehend. Don’t let your inability to see how it could happen stand in the way of your dreams.

This is where faith comes in. Faith does not just happen. You can’t just decide to have faith. Faith is an action word and it requires you to put in some effort and work at it. Prayer goes hand in hand with faith. I think it starts with prayer and builds from there. Reading your scriptures is also essential. I have developed a process that I use and we will talk about that a little later.

Another profound experience that I’ve had with faith as a Mother is when Skylar was in the hospital. I think experiences like this one where we aren’t in control and where we feel powerless are harder to endure. And they require faith on a completely different level. This experience strengthened my testimony and increased my capacity to have faith and to understand what faith actually is.

When Skylar was born, she had a blockage of tissue where her stomach and intestines meet. It just had not developed properly and it prevented her from eating. The milk would either just stay in her stomach since it could not go downward through her digestive system or she would throw it all up. By the time she was three months old, she had been in the hospital for 7 ½ weeks and had three surgeries to correct the problem.

I’m going to share a few of my journal entries from when Skylar was in the hospital. They are pretty special spiritual experiences that I had and I feel like they were glimpses of heaven. These moments greatly strengthened my faith.

4.15.11
This morning I prayed for Skylar to feel of Heavenly Father's love and comfort and then about 10 mins later the image came to my mind of Jesus sitting next to her hospital bed and I saw Him holding her and rocking her. Such a comforting image. Exactly what I needed.

4.17.11
I was driving to the hospital to see Skylar just now and I saw the temple in the distance up on the hill. As soon as I saw it, the first word that came to mind was "hope." And I was reminded that the temple is a great symbol of hope. Then the word "faith" came to mind. I was at a stop light a little bit closer and could still see the temple in the distance. As I stared at the gold angel Moroni, the words "good tidings" came to mind. And I felt the spirit.

I then realized that we pass by the temple every time we drive to the hospital. When I had that realization, I felt the spirit very strong. How lucky are we that as we endure this trial, we get to pass right by such an amazing symbol of hope, faith, and good tidings?

I'm grateful for our faith and the knowledge that we have that comforts us and buoys us up in these difficult times.

4.26.11
This morning at the end of my prayer and my begging & pleading that "He let me have her" and that "He please heal her" I envisioned Jesus standing at her bedside in the hospital with His hands touching her abdomen on her incision doing just that...healing her.

Tyson gave me a blessing last night and in it, it said she would be healed.

I need to have greater faith. Many scriptures that I read this morning said my prayers would be granted according to my faith.

5.21.11
One really big thing I've re-learned through this ordeal:

I know that by leaning on Heavenly Father, we can overcome any trial.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I felt so many different emotions. It truly was a roller coaster ride that I was not expecting. There were moments of joy and happiness as she seemed to improve and then times of utter heartbreak when progress stalled or something went wrong. As a mother, it is so hard to stand by helpless while your child suffers. My sister is a therapist and she told me that the bond between a mother and child is nine times stronger than any other human relationship. You want the best for your children so it is so hard when you have absolutely no control.

You will come face to face with difficult trials, and some of them will make you feel so overwhelmed that all you can do is cry, pray, and put it all in HF's hands. There comes a point where there's nothing else you can do & you have to let go and have faith and trust in Heavenly Father. You have to trust that everything we endure happens for a reason and that Heavenly Father knows all things. He sees the beginning to the end…and we don’t.

One of my favorite quotes says, “Every experience God gives us and every person He puts into our lives is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see.” ~Corrie ten Boom

During both of these situations, I prayed continuously. After I would pray, I would open my scriptures and the things I read gave me comfort and strength. One of my favorites is D&C 84:119-120:
For I, the Lord, have put forth my hand to exert the powers of heaven; ye cannot see it now, yet a little while & ye shall see it, and know that I am, and that I will come & reign with my people. I am alpha & omega, the beginning & the end. Amen."

This is one of my all time favorite scriptures. What peace and comfort it brought me and continues to bring me. This scripture reminds me to have faith. It reminds me that if I do what’s right and make good choices, Heavenly Father will bless me and he has so many blessings in store for us. And it reminds me to be patient and that everything happens in the Lord’s timing. “Faith in God includes faith in His timing.”
Faith requires us to do all that we can do and then put it in the Lord’s hands. Another one of my favorite scriptures is D&C 123:17: Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

I absolutely love this scripture because it’s basically saying, after we do all that we can, we need to sit back with confidence and have faith in God.

Prayer and reading scriptures go hand in hand with faith because prayer is how we talk to Heavenly Father and reading scriptures is how He talks to us.
I have established a little process

1. Identify question/concern

2. Take your question or concern to the Lord through prayer. Pray to the Lord for guidance & comfort & ask Him your specific question. Ask him to feel the spirit & to feel his love & comfort

3. Search your scriptures (even if you don't receive an answer right then, I promise you that between your prayer & if you sincerely read your scriptures with real intent- seeking an answer, you will at least feel comforted & feel a lot better than when you started.)

4. Write down any inspiration or revelation that you receive- This is so important! You would be amazed at how easily you forget things if you don't write it down.

5. Stay positive. It’s easy to get discouraged if you don’t feel like you get an answer right away. Just keep praying and know that everything happens in the Lord’s timing and it happens that way for a reason. Continue to pray and start the cycle over and as you continue to read your scriptures, you will feel the Lord’s comfort and you will gain faith and strength to overcome the situation.

6. If it’s a difficult trial you’re going through, get a priesthood blessing. That will bring comfort and shed some light as well.

D&C 121:36: "That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven..."

I love that scripture. I don’t think we truly comprehend how powerful the Priesthood is. We need to use it- that is what it’s there for.

By doing these steps when you have a question or concern or you’re going through a trial, you’re putting the situation in the Lord’s hands which is the best thing you can do. Your faith will be strengthened because you will be able to recognize direct answers and guidance from the Lord as you do these things and as you write down your experiences.

The fact is that I’ve learned a lot this past year. And I mean a LOT. It was uncomfortable, it made me stretch, it pushed me out of my comfort zone, and it was a struggle. Nobody likes to feel those things, right? But when we go through experiences that make us feel those things, that’s when we’re growing and learning and Heavenly Father is molding us into the person we’re supposed to become. These trials teach us compassion teach us what faith really is and make us grow closer to the Savior. As we grow closer to the Savior, we become more like him.

This is part of a post that I wrote on my blog that kind of summarizes what 2011 meant to me.

What a year. This has been a year of perspective. A year of faith. A year of adversity. A year of lessons. A year of survival. Ultimately, it’s been a year of joy and rewards. A year of gratitude. A year of TRIUMPH.

The rewards we’ve received this year have no monetary value. Prosperity did not come in the form of wealth. In many senses, we’ve been "poorer" than ever before, yet, in a greater realm, we’ve been made abundantly rich in qualities that truly matter such as humility, compassion, strength, gratitude, and faith. We’ve been made rich in understanding and we’ve truly been refined. We’ve received a greater understanding of what true happiness really is.

This life is such a whirlwind and so many things are out of our control. This year, we have been reminded that Heavenly Father is in control. Our faith and testimonies have increased tenfold as we have leaned on Him through some of our greatest trials. I know that Heavenly Father has the power to do all things...even what seems "impossible" to us. I've seen miracles this year which have opened my heart and enlightened my mind. At those precious moments, the worldly haze lifted and I gained a clear perspective on the things in life that are of the most value. We have our health, we have the gospel, and we have each other…our precious family. We are rich beyond measure.

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

This year we have truly learned to soar.

As you go through life and trials come your way, lean on Heavenly Father and he will guide you out of the storm. With faith, you can overcome any obstacle, as it relates to motherhood and any other aspect of life. God is powerful beyond measure and He loves you more than you can comprehend. Motherhood is wonderful but it is hard and it definitely requires a partnership with Heavenly Father and it requires faith. I challenge all of you to use the process I outlined , especially in times of hardship so that you can see the great blessings in your life.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.