30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Man, oh man, I love the article below.  Here's to a happier 2012...time to do some transforming.  It's going to be a great year!

I need to work on 2, 4, 6, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 30...whoa, that's a lot...one step at a time.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled .

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness .

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done .

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Amen.  I've got some work to do.

2011…A Train Wreck? A Disaster? ...I’d Call it a Masterpiece

“Every experience God gives us and every person He puts into our lives is the perfect preparation for a future only He can see.” ~Corrie ten Boom

What a year. This has been a year of perspective. A year of faith. A year of adversity. A year of lessons.  A year of survival. Ultimately, it’s been a year of joy and rewards. A year of gratitude. A year of TRIUMPH.

The rewards we’ve received this year have no monetary value. Prosperity did not come in the form of wealth.  In many senses, we’ve been "poorer" than ever before, yet, in a greater realm, we’ve been made abundantly rich in qualities that truly matter such as humility, compassion, strength, gratitude, and faith. We’ve been made rich in understanding and we’ve truly been refined. We’ve received a greater understanding of what true happiness really is.

This life is such a whirlwind and so many things are out of our control. This year, we have been reminded that Heavenly Father is in control. Our faith and testimonies have increased tenfold as we have leaned on Him through some of our greatest trials. I know that Heavenly Father has the power to do all things...even what seems "impossible" to us. I've seen miracles this year which have opened my heart and enlightened my mind. At those precious moments, the worldly haze lifted and I gained a clear perspective on the things in life that are of the most value. We have our health, we have the gospel, and we have each other…our precious family. We are rich beyond measure.

Here is an update on each of our gems and jewels:

Blakeley Jewel, 2, is the comedian in the house. Her shenanigans constantly have us laughing and I can’t imagine life without her. This year she started nursery at church and she loves it. She learned to fold her arms and she gets excited when she sees pictures of Jesus. She loves to dance and likes music of all kinds. She’s incredibly social and she loves to say “hi” to people and wave to them at the store which makes everyone smile. She is very outgoing and has such a fun personality. She loves going to the park and being outside. She will go up to kids and copy them or involve herself in their play…no matter what age the other kids are!

She loves playing “Ring around the Rosie” and she has a ton of energy- she won’t even sit through a whole movie. This year she also discovered trampolines and she’s obsessed. She is my little shadow and she loves to help me with anything I’m doing. She especially likes to stir whatever I’m cooking and help me unload the silverware out of the dishwasher. Recently, she climbed out of her crib so we will be transitioning to a toddler bed soon & we will also start potty training soon. She loves her little sister & loves to give her hugs and kisses! She gets so excited when she sees her first thing in the morning and sometimes she will randomly say, “I want to see Skylar” and she will go up to Skylar and say, “Hi!” in her cute little voice. It’s so sweet.

Skylar Bloom, 8 months, is starting to show her personality. She is actually becoming a little bit feisty! She is such a good baby though and has the sweetest disposition. She is always smiling and has the most beautiful blue eyes. She just sprouted her first tooth and the day after that she said "Mama" and "Dada" for the first time- on the same day! (For the record, she said "Mama" first!  That's my girl!)  She loves jumping up and down in her exersaucer and she loves to chew on her toys.  Her eyes light up when Daddy is around and she will just stare at him wherever he is in the room. She also loves her big sister and is always squealing at her in delight.  She had her third and hopefully, final surgery in July and has been healthy ever since. I have a feeling she has a special purpose on this earth and I’m so excited to watch her grow and develop.

Tyson is busy as ever with work and is still a Regional Manager with Cellular Sales, with a team of about 30 employees that he mentors. He works long hours but loves his job and is very motivated to reach his long term goal of achieving that final promotion so we are just being patient and crossing our fingers that it will happen soon.  He is such a positive role model for us and a great provider for our family. The girls adore him and with Sunday as our only day off together, we try to spend as much quality time together as possible. He still enjoys teaching the 13-14 year old class at church as well.

As for me, two little ones keep me pretty busy but I’ve started what I would consider a part time job cooking and cleaning for people at church and it has worked out great since it’s something I can do with the kids. You could call me a “Mother’s Helper” and while it’s not very fun to clean your own house, I actually find it really rewarding to help others. I feel more productive and it gives me the opportunity to become better friends with some of the other ladies at church. I’m also taking advantage of living only about four miles away from the San Antonio temple as I have been going almost weekly for a few months now and I’ve had some amazing experiences. I love my role as Compassionate Service Assistant at church and find it very fulfilling. Overall, my goal right now is to provide our little darlings with happy, memorable childhoods and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We hope this letter finds you healthy and happy and we want you to know how thankful we are for each of you.

We are so very grateful for the prayers, fasting, and countless acts of service and kindness that have lovingly wrapped around us and carried us this year. We have truly felt strength beyond our own and it is very apparent to me that there are angels who walk this earth. To all of you, we say thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We will pay it forward every chance we get.

We will never forget this momentous year that has taught us so much. What a year. A year of TRIUMPH.

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

This year we have truly learned to soar.

Gratefully yours,

Tyson. Kendra. Blakeley. Skylar. & Phoebe

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

To read about the comedy that keeps us laughing, meaningful experiences that I have, and other randomness we encounter, come back to this site often: tysonandkendrahaas.blogspot.com

*For a good chuckle, check out the previous post

Top Ten Blakeley Shenanigans of 2011

10.  The funny faces she makes

9.  The things she puts on to keep herself warm

8.  The creative way she plays with fruit

7.  The way she likes to make Mommy clean up after her

6.  Her role playing as "Gangsta B"

5. Her obsession with her pacifiers and the random places I find them

4.  Her obsession with water

3.  The interesting objects she likes to use as blankets

2.  The way she goes above and beyond to help me with laundry

1.  The way she wants to be a Mommy someday & practices with her baby dolls

Can't wait to see what comedy she brings me in 2012!  The camera is ready...

Heavenly Hug

I absolutely love this image and love the expression on Jesus' face.  I've been feeling overwhelmed lately, mostly due to medical bills and this picture alone is comforting.

Sending all of you a big hug. 

Putting all my troubles in His hands...

xoxo

First Christmases

Here are the girls on their first Christmases. 
Here is Blakeley in 2009

Here is Skylar this year

Skylar is three months older than Blakeley was...

I don't think they look that much alike in these pics but there are some other pics that I see of Blakeley when she was younger that totally resemble Skylar.

May We Celebrate the TRUE Meaning of Christmas

I had a hard time feeling the Christmas spirit this year.  In Florida, at the beginning of December, our stake would always go all out and put on a huge production called "A Night in Bethlehem."  It was outside and you basically walked through a little town that they had created on the grounds of the stake center and there were different little shops that you could  buy bread, play games, & different things at with play money that you would get at the beginning.  There was a firepit and hot chocolate and you would sit on bales of hay and watch a live show of Joseph and Mary trying to find an inn to stay at on the night of Jesus' birth.  It was always really nice and spiritual and I remember always feeling the spirit so strong.  There is singing which is what really made it special.  And it was always a great way to start off December and to be reminded of the real reason we celebrate Christmas.  I miss that.

I actually very much dislike the commercialization of Christmas because material things leave you feeling empty when all is said and done and it's easy to spend too much money.  Anyway, I found this on a different blog & loved it so I'm posting it too.  Sums it up pretty well.

"For Christmas is a beautiful time of the year. We love the excitement, the giving spirit, the special awareness of and appreciation for family and friends, the feelings of love and brotherhood that bless our gatherings at Christmastime.

In all the joyousness, it is well to reflect that Christmas comes in three levels:

Let’s call the first the 'Santa Claus level.' It’s the level of Christmas trees and holly, of whispered secrets and colorful packages, of candlelight and rich food and warm open houses. It’s carolers in the shopping malls, excited children, and weary but loving parents. It’s a lovely time of special warmth and caring and giving. It’s the level at which we eat too much and spend too much and do too much–and enjoy every minute of it. We love the Santa Claus level of Christmas.

But there’s a higher, more beautiful level. Let’s call it the 'Silent Night level.' It’s the level of all our glorious Christmas carols, of that beloved, familiar story: 'Now in those days there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus…' It’s the level of the crowded inn, and the silent holy moment in a dark stable when the Son of Man came to earth. It’s shepherds on a steep, bare hill near Bethlehem, angels with their glad tidings, a new star in the East, wise men traveling far in search of the Holy One. How beautiful and meaningful it is; how infinitely poorer we would be without this sacred second level of Christmas.

The trouble is, these two levels don’t last. They can’t. Twelve days of Christmas, at the first level, is about all most of us can stand. It’s too intense, too extravagant. The tree dries out and the needles fall. The candles burn down. The beautiful wrappings go out with he trash, the carolers are up on the ski slopes, the toys break, and the biggest day the stores in the entire year is exchange day, December 26.

The feast is over and the dieting begins. But the lonely and the hungry are with us still perhaps lonelier and hungrier than before.

Lovely and joyous as the first level of Christmas is, there will come a day, very soon, when Mother will put away the decorations and vacuum the living room and think, 'Thank goodness that’s over for another year.'

Even the second level, the level of the Baby Jesus, can’t last. How many times this season can you sing 'Silent Night'? The angels and the star and the shepherd, even the silent, sacred mystery of that holy night itself, can’t long satisfy humanity’s basic need. The man who keeps Christ in the manger will, in the end, be disappointed and empty.

No, for Christmas to last all year long, for it to grow in beauty and meaning and purpose, for it to have the power to change lives, we must celebrate it at the third level, that of the adult Christ. It is at this level–not as an infant–that our Savior brings His gifts of lasting joy, lasting peace, lasting hope. It was the adult Christ who reached out and touched the untouchable, who loved the unlovable, who so loved us all that even in His agony on the cross He prayed forgiveness for His enemies.

This is the Christ, creator of worlds without number, who wept, Enoch tell us, because so many of us lack affection and hate each other–and then who willingly gave His life for all of us, including those for whom He wept.

This is the Christ, the adult Christ, who gave us the perfect example, and asked us to follow Him.

Accepting that invitation is the way–the only way–to celebrate Christmas all year and all life long."

Oh every time I think of this I get that feeling once again. He is there. He loves us dearly. The adult Christ who gave His life for us.
May we all remember to be still enough to remember not only that tiny babe born in Bethlehem all those years ago, but that third level of the living, adult Christ this week and throughout the whole year.

post-edit note: I googled where this came from and this is what I found: "The article was written as a Church News editorial by William B. Smart, and appears in his book, Messages for a Happier Life (Deseret Book, 1989), pp. 33-34."