So Many People to Thank...

For 6 weeks, someone watched Blakeley during the day so I could go to the hospital.  For those six weeks, someone also came to our house from 8-10:30pm after Blakeley was in bed so that both Tyson & I could go to the hospital.  For those six weeks, we had meals at least twice a week.  I think the first week and a half we had meals almost every night.  Gifts, cards, flowers, treats, visits, surprises on our doorstep...How grateful I am for the tremendous support that we received and the willingness to help our family.  Babysitting, meals, a quick comment, a prayer...these may seem like small things to the people who did them but they are huge to me.  To comfort those in need of comfort...our friends and family did just that.  I truly felt strength from their efforts. 

I've never been on the receiving end like this before.  It's humbling.  I've learned that if you're not sure what to say to someone who is going through something hard, anything helps.  The comments on Facebook were so comforting & encouraging.  Never again will I feel awkward saying or writing words of comfort to someone because I've gone through this hard experience.  Even just saying, "I'm sorry you're going through that..." is comforting.  So when in doubt, say that. 

Thank you to the following people.  You truly are amazing & I'm so grateful for you.  You made a difference in my life & I will be forever grateful.

Whomever heart attacked us & left us all the goodies- You rock. 

Mom- Visited me & helped with Blakeley the entire first week. Such a blessing that she came out.
Dad & Linda- sent money for a rocking chair & sent flowers

Grandma Shirley- sent money & outfits for Skylar & Blakeley

Chelsea Haas- sent cute posters that she made, adorable headbands for Skylar

Marilyn Worden- Build a Bear lamb for Skylar

Ty & Crystal Rankin- visited us in hospital, brought flowers & balloons, took Blakeley to Sea World for the day, allowed Josh to work for Tyson

Bay & Allison Willingham- brought us dinner, brought gifts & flowers

Carrie Coplen- visited me in hospital & brought me candy

Christy & John Cox- visited us in hospital, brought gift & balloon, brought us a meal & had us over for dinner on Mother's Day

Heather Scott- visited me in hospital, gave me hair clip gift, stored my milk in her deep freezer, watched Blakeley at night

Amy Salisbury- dropped off homemade bread & gift (super cute dress), babysat Blakeley at night

Arianne Pearce, Molly Hansen, Julie Bezzant- dropped off flowers & cheesecake the first night we got home from the hospital.  They were actually at our door when we got home.  So nice.

Arianne Pearce- watched Blakeley during the day for two weeks, gave us a slide for Blakeley.  The first day she watched Blakeley, when I dropped her off, she handed me a sack lunch that she had packed me.  I started to cry because it was so thoughtful.  I can't believe she even thought to do that. Such a great example & someone I will try to emulate.

Molly Hansen- watched Blakeley during the day

Emily Benedict- watched Blakeley during the day

Dana Jorgensen- watched Blakeley during the day, outfit for Skylar

Shane Bezzant- watched Blakeley during the day

Rachael Munson- dropped off flowers, watched Blakeley at night twice

Melissa Burr & Chris Woodcock- sent us card

Jenie Haddock- dropped off flowers, dropped off gifts (outfits & stuffed animal for Skylar, stuffed animal for Blakeley), let me come over to her house & vent about NICU experiences  (her baby had been in the same NICU for 5 weeks & had gone home like a month before Skylar was born), watched Blakeley during the day

Greta Hurley (the best visiting teacher ever!) - brought 3 meals, gifts (outfit for Skylar & doll for B), watched Blakeley on Saturdays & took her to the zoo, gave us teddy bear with soothing sounds for Skylar

Deanna Mercado- brought meal & Blakeley a doll

Nancy Fleming- brought 2 meals

Joscelyn Iverson- brought us a meal, watched Blakeley

Michelle Sepulveda- brought us a meal.  This lady is so special.  I had only met her once at a friend's baby shower & then she befriended me on FB.  When she found out about Skylar being in the NICU she wanted to do a meal for me.  Says a lot about her since she didn't even really know me.  Special lady!

Jenin Compton- watched Blakeley at night

Anna & Libby Koelling- watched Blakeley at night

Christine Bartkowski- helped watch Blakeley at night

Bishop Gary Long- visited us at hospital the day we got released right before we went home & gave me blessing.  Also kept calling to check on us over the weeks.

Josh Self- Worked for Ty. Such a financial blessing & is unprecedented.  Shows what people think of Tyson.  Such a nice thing to do.

Margie Hayden- Worked for Ty.  Such a blessing.

Aaron Ward & Jenna McDaniel- visited us, brought gifts (Champina onesie, bubble gun for B)

Ricki & Bob Ward- outfit for Skylar, Monkey puppet book for B

Sue McDaniel (Jenna’s Mom)- sent us strawberry beanies.  This is a special lady too!  We've never even met her before.  She's a NICU nurse in California.  So sweet of her.  She actually sent us 4 in different sizes.

Amy Beltran- watched B while we were in hospital when Skylar was born, bought Blakeley clothes & toys (electronic laptop toy, sunglasses, purse, coloring books with special markers), brought us a cake, brought more gifts for Skylar (clothes & diaper changing pad)

Cydni Gardner- watched Blakeley at night

Bree Mercado- watched Blakeley at night

Jane Doyle- dropped off little cheesecake desserts, gift (clothes, blanket, bib that says "Little Sister" for Skylar, shirt that says "Big Sister" for Blakeley

Crystal Isenhour- gift (clothes & blanket for Skylar)

Kathy Hagerman- brought us a meal, watched Blakeley at night

Tara Lundmark- brought us a meal

Mindy Baron- brought us a meal

Kim Thomas- brought us a meal

Terri LeBleu- brought us a meal

Sara Embelton- brought us a meal

Natalie Scott- watched Blakeley at night

Billie Wareman- watched Blakeley at night

Liliana Gonzalez- watched Blakeley at night four times, folded laundry

Beth Batey- watched Blakeley at night, did dishes & cleaned my microwave!

Carmen Dawson- watched Blakeley at night, gift (cute clothes for Skylar)

Debbie Farnsworth- watched Blakeley at night
 
Jacque- brought gift (clothes for Skylar & Blakeley, bath washes/lotions for Skylar)

Countless people prayed & fasted

(Can you believe that list?!  I'm in awe...)
 
Thank you for acting as Heavenly Father's hands here on earth.  We are so blessed.  I'm overwhelmed by the support we received & just looking at this list is amazing.  I told Tyson that if we didn't know if we were loved before, we sure know now!

So again...Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Can I Borrow a Sledgehammer?

I'm writing this after the fact just for my own sake because I want to remember all of my thoughts & feelings from Skylar's hospital experience. 

When I found out that Skylar might need a second surgery, it was devastating.  Everything went downhill for me for about a week or two from that point.  I had been so patient through the whole process & it was so disheartening to find out that the first surgery wasn't successful.  The hardest part was thinking that the 2nd surgery meant an extended stay in the hospital.  And that's what killed me.  Not seeing the end in sight...I couldn't bear to think that far ahead.  I really thought she would have to stay for another month since it took a month after the first surgery.  I anticipated it would end up being 8 weeks in the hospital...ugh.  Almost unbearable.

From that point on, I became somewhat impatient.  And ANGRY.  I had moments where I felt so incredibly angry.  Not at any particular person, not at Heavenly Father, just at the situation.  I would cry.  I wanted to take a sledgehammer & destroy something.  I actually tried to think of things that I could do to rid myself of the frustration that was brewing inside me.  I wished there was a mountain nearby that I could climb to the top of & scream at the top of my lungs.  And then scream again.  And again.  And again.  If there was a mountain nearby, I kid you not...I would have done just that.  One day I screamed in my room for awhile.  I probably scared the crap out of my dog.  Poor Phoebe.

I didn't have the sledgehammer idea until Tyson told me a story.  A pretty funny story, actually.  When he was a little kid he went to a church carnival & one of the activities was taking a sledgehammer to an old car.  How funny is that?!  I can just imagine a tired housewife coming up with that idea!  I love it.  From then on, I wished I could take a sledgehammer to something. (We just threw away our old TV...I should have taken a hammer to it before we dumped it.)

Anyways, I didn't like feeling so angry.  Holding Skylar helped.  Praying helped.  When I'm angry I pray & ask Heavenly Father to take the anger away.  I then normally read my scriptures & I always feel better afterwards. 

Thankfully, we were able to go home only two weeks after the 2nd surgery!

Our Family Together...Finally

It feels good to have everyone together!  I love our girls!

DISCHARGED!!!

After six weeks & 2 surgeries, we got to go home today with our sweet little baby!  I was so happy although it didn't feel real.  I still felt sort of numb & it didn't really hit me. 

We came home to this:

How sweet.  Thanks Rachael & Christy!

Now "Mission: Adjusting to Two Kids" begins!  Wish me luck...

Gaining Weight

The last few days, I knew that we could only be discharged if Skylar was gaining weight each day.  It didn't matter how much she gained but they wanted to see an uphill trend.  I was really hoping she would gain so we could get discharged.  Everything else was great at this point & a nurse even asked what else they were waiting for since all they were doing at this point was feeding her.

I posted this on FB:  Cross your fingers that Skylar gains weight when they weigh her tonight. She has to gain in order for us to get discharged tomorrow. Oy, I'm trying to stay positive. I want to go home tomorrow!

We Can Overcome ANY Trial

NO MORE TUBES!  =)


Random thoughts:

One really big thing I've re-learned through this ordeal:

I know that by leaning on our HF we can overcome any trial.

Looks like we're probably getting discharged on Monday. Woot woot!

It takes a ward to raise a child.  Support has been amazing.


I think I've felt every emotion you could possibly feel through this experience...

Terror
Impatience
Sadness
Fear
Anxiety
Annoyance
Helplessness
Anger
Frustration
Crazy
Nothing at all
Despair
Stressed

Peace
Comfort
Joy
Love
Happiness
Relief
Friendship
Gratitude
Appreciation
Relaxed
Enlightened

At some points, I wanted to kick and scream and throw a tantrum and bang my head on a wall.  Valid feelings.

IV is out! Woo hoo!

1:49am
Couldn't sleep...I was dying to know how Skylar did at her midnight feeding since I wasn't there. I'm glad I can call to check on her even at crazy hours like this. She has been doing so great! It's looking really good that we will probably get discharged soon. The IV that she's had for 5 weeks will get taken out tomorrow! YESSSS! The end is in sight! CANNOT WAIT!

Later in the day...2pm

Skylar's IV (PICC) is out!!! Yeehaw! Dr said we'll probably get discharged on Monday.

This is HUGE!  I'm soooo excited but still don't want to get my hopes up just in case...